i miss math.

i miss math and the logic behind it. i miss how definite it is. how there can only be one answer and all i have to do is solve it. im tired of thinking up my opinion of things. im tired of observing and analyzing things. i just want to work for an answer that i know already exists (unless it's DNE- does not exist- which is why i always hated calc).

writing is so tough because it's all about how you feel. if my thoughts aren't organizing themselves and my mind is befuddled the way it is right now, i have no chance at writing a paper. same with analysis. just MORE to add to the blender that is spinning thoughts in my head. blending up a puree of crap.

math was nice because all you had to do was know the procedures. like heading to a destination with a route in mind. all you have to do is follow it. usually that route is familiar. multiplying, adding, subtracting, dividing. all practically ingrained into our brains. autopilot.

writing, on the other hand, is like setting off with no plans. you figure out where you wanna go and then blindly make up your own route of how to get there.

i cant.

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on a brighter note, as lame as it is, im posting a blog in january!