sigh.

bonjour!

i havent writen here in a longlong time.

im so bored right now. which is a problem because when im bored i start thinking. like REALLY thinking. and then i have thoughts.
well duh. thinking->thoughts haha.
but still
it gets me doing "deep thinking" where i think of life, my future, my past, regrets, wishes, etc.
then i get all moody.
but i cant help but wonder my if's and what if's.

yousee, theres this dream i have.
only my very closest friends know and i dont even think they completely understand.
but that dream/wish whatever you want to call it. its so close!!!!
gahh.
so my wandering boredom thoughts always wind up being about this silly dream of mine.
its really dumb but i know i can achieve it if i just blahblahblah
buut i dont ever try.
suresure its hard, but its not impossible.
so why dont i even give it a shot??
I DONT KNOW.
arg. i feel really dumb. its like i cant even control my own body.

then that gets me wondering. maybe i dont care enough? but i know i do.
so i dont know whats wrong with me.

and whats worse. is i always have a good plan and idea and rules to finally get this dream of mine to come true.
but i never ever ever carry it out.
which thus ends up in... uhh, nothing.

this picture. is aptly called "the dream"



SIGH.