beep beep beep beep beep

ughh, is there really anything better than finding a song that you absolutely and utterly fall in love with..
currently:

--
i just HAD to start with that because i am so very in love with this song right now. i have noticed that i am definitely one of those ceaseless obsess-ers when it comes to music. when im really diggin a particular song i can listen to it on loop for days and not get sick of it.. that is, until a new song catches my eye.. and then the other receives divided attention until it disappears into oblivion (aka one of my forgotten playlists). o, my fickle heart.

let's see, what is new. nothing really. or maybe a lot, i dont know. i think i dont really realize that things have changed until i reflect like this lol. big picture vs little picture, yaknow? progress means nothing until there's change! actually, that's not very true. any progress is good, right? what am i saying.. i dont know i dont know.

sidenote: i think my posts are probably a little confusing and a lot dapdaphae-ish for my adoring 0-3 followers-- if you agree, i send my sincerest condolences but i'm afraid there's nothing i can do, since ultimately this is for me and not you :P and also if you took the effort to click that link to come read my thoughts, you are liable for your own discomfort.

i've recently started tutoring some girls in SAT reading/ writing and boy oh boy am i glad that i did not choose the teaching route. i have no idea how to structure tutoring sessions. and i am the awkwardest turtle in the universe. but some perks include that i am subsequently brushing up on my own vocabulary. mayhaps i shall throw around words like loquacious, antediluvian, and intrepid more often (sidenote: i always thought intrepid meant cautious (because words like trepidation) but of course with that "in-" it means the opposite... def almost made a fool of myself in front of my student..) it's also pretty rewarding when the super shy quiet student starts opening up to you :) lowkey highkey why i always wanted my own KCM small group..

i keep thinking of something else i want to write about while im writing one thought and then by the time im finished writing that thought, it has run away with the new thought i thunk.

i'm hungry.

things i don't understand: 1) girls who wear belly-baring crop tops casually. like, i understand it's omg-so-trendyyy these days but can't you all save that for vegas.. a party.. coachella.. or idk, the beach? aren't you cold??? aint nobody in yo class wanna see yo belly. and on the topic of coachella, 2) what is it with girls wearing flower crowns and all that weird arabian jewelry shit at coachella. does going to the desert suddenly awaken the native american that's in us all? as one buzzfeed quiz so eloquently put it, the basic bitchez at coachella offensively dress in mock-nativeamerican garb and are basic cus they don't even realize it's offensive. not going to lie, if i went to coachella, i would definitely up my fashion game cus that's a girl's funnest pasttime but why does everyone go all woodstock? it's predominantly at coachella but also at various outdoor music festivals. music festivals= freedom? idk. the mysteries of this world confound me.

okay, i think i'm done addressing my unhappiness with modern fashion for now. you know, after 3.5+ years of unhappily laboring over papers, i really thought i would grow to hate writing but i get so curious about how some things work and sometimes i just want to study/ write about those things i'm interested in. it's just that i'm usually not interested in things like antique chinese art. i also wish i wasn't graded for what i write. and that those grades wouldn't therefore affect my future. grades are so dumb. why can't people who want to learn just learn!!

still hungry.
i will go eat some cookies. good night.