nostalgia/ faith

no, the two words in my title have no relevance to each other. i just wanted to write about two different things but i didn't want to have to wait a day to write about one, because both are rather pressing, or make two different posts because, well, i didn't think of that till now. and now i am too lazy. ehehe..

nostalgia
just had a very good time catching up with my buddy raymond:) and hopefully he's reading this now, now that he knows i have a blog loll. something we talked about and just talking to him in general made me miss the summer, high school, youth group, and.. the past(?) SOO much. seriously, it was like painful. i dont know if anyone else has experienced this or if i'm just crazy but sometimes i just get this feeling where my heart feels like its being twisted or something and that's kinda how i felt. plus my head was doing that slideshow thing where it kind of flips through memories, pictures in my mind of happy times with my old friends and i got really sad. all that coupled with the fact that i was talking to him about how i was scared/nervous about not being able to find a really good friend here at SC, especially after the great friendships i had pre-college. someone i could relate to and just chill with whenever. on that subject, i KNOW i am kind of really asking for a lot too early but i cant seem to shake this feeling. i grew up so blessed with long lasting friendships, girls i could call my sisters, and i guess a comfort that doesn't exist in college anymore. but after getting some good advice from ray and chastising myself for being silly i realized that there were a lot more pros to draw from this. maybe God was using me for a different purpose or trying to draw me away from that comfort zone. if i lived in that bubble forever i would never know how to interact with people or create new relationships. and that would have been extremely unfortunate because there ARE a few new friendships that i really value. im reminded of the girl scout song we used to sing by the flagpole loll "make new friends, but keep the old. one is silver and the other's gold." i always thought this was unfair, did the new friends have no chance at being gold?? ahaha, but i get it for sure. i think i've learned a lot about moving on without leaving the people/things in your past.

ugh i am too tired to continue. i actually typed a hefty chunk of the second part on faith. buut i cannot go on. when did it become 4:18? i will continue and post this part in its entirety tomorrow or this weekend. for now, dwell in the suspense:) and the cuteness of this picture. sorry ray, i couldnt resist. LOLL