TRUTH:

i HATE how early usc started.

its such a bummer that my friends' summers continue while im in school already. i dunno why but im filled with this very stupid selfish feeling that their lives shouldn't be able to move on without me. they shouldn't be able to have fun without me. ridiculous? yes. but it's literally been depressing me these days to the point where i just want to cry when i look at facebook now.

the hardest part is talking to people about it because nobody really gets it. the typical answer (and probably what you all are thinking) "michelle, you're at usc, you can come back whenever" or "but usc's so close!" or "AT LEAST YOURE STILL IN LA". these statements literally make me seeeethe. yes, no DUH, i KNOW. but i feel like people blow off people at sc because even though we start like a month before all the uc kids we're still "local". seriously. they just assume that since we're close by we can waltz back whenever. like were not in school or something. like we dont have classes. like even if i dont have a car i can just teleport myself back whenever.

JUST IMAGINE starting school weeks before everyone else. being thrown into a place where suddenly you dont have all the friends you used to. hell, a place where you dont have ANY friends. AND THEN, missing your old friends but realizing that they're just fine without you.

its so weird that im at usc, a very common school, and i have NO close friend to kinda cling onto and call/text to meet up with when i have nothing to do/ nobody to hang out with.

idunno. i guess it's hard enough to be in a completely new environment and realize where you left hasn't changed a bit. even though i completely understand that, yes, i am in a better position than, say, someone who is leaving for a school on the other side of the continent like.. maine. they have no chance to come back and visit, whereas i at least have the opportunity. but what good is it if i dont go home on the weekends? what good is it if all my friends back home are gone anyway? i might as well be in maine.

i think the main problem here for me is that usc started so goddamn early. honestly if we had all parted our separate ways at the same time i would miss everyone like craaazy but i wouldn't be this depressed. somehow this post has turned into all the things that bother me..

i am just bitchin'.. please forgive me



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sidenote: blogs definitely dont bring out the best part of me.