I met Irene in Gulu when we went to a small village to do door-to-door evangelism. I distinctly remember meeting her outside her small thatch-roof house and being happily welcomed inside to chat. I remember being very pleasantly surprised by her near-fluent English (comparable even to our translators!) and thinking that she was really beautiful. My group consisted of about.. 6 or 7 people? Me, maybe 3-4 of my teammates, and 2 Ugandan natives and while a group that size (with a bunch of strange looking foreigners) might have been a bit overwhelming to others, she was extremely welcoming and very eager to hear what we had to share as well as open to share about her own life. &OH MAN, her testimony completely blew me away. I felt my heart breaking to pieces as she shared about the many hardships she faced while growing up. She had grown up as an orphan reluctantly shuffled between distant relatives' homes after both of her parents passed away from AIDS and though she was only 18 (the same age as me at the time!) she was pregnant and unhappily married. Although she loved studying as a young girl (hence the stellar English) after finishing high school, she was unable to afford anymore schooling and therefore did not currently attend a college but instead spent her time making beads for a living and taking care of the household while her husband was at work. She shared that she had been Mormon (or some cultish variation of Mormon) and that when members of her ministry discovered that she was pregnant (and, at the time, unmarried) they admonished her and angrily kicked her out of their church claiming that she had broken a sacred law. She told us about how in the aftermath of her pregnancy and the problems with her church she had considered the convenience of just killing herself to escape from the hopelessness and depression she felt but that she managed to cling to the little thought in the back of her head that said there had to be a god watching over her, somewhere. She said that even our chance encounter was a sign to her that there was a god (our God) that truly loved her and wanted to encourage her.
Our entire group was so moved by her story and I think every single person shared an encouraging word and/or prayer. She asked many curious questions and we spent a long time discussing the gospel and how our God loves us soooo much that he sacrificed his Son for us even though we were (and still are) completely worthless and undeserving. We shared about how God continues to pursue us because he loves us and it was just SUCH a blessed time!! Buut unfortunately, it eventually became time for us to move along so we invited her to the church we were staying at for Sunday service and moved on.. I was able to get a few words alone with her before we left though, and I remember feeling strongly that God wanted me to remind her that she was His beautiful daughter and that she was unconditionally loved and I remember feeling so eager to share because I felt a strange connection with her-- maybe because of our age? Regardless, I quickly shared and said that I really hoped that I would see her on Sunday and scurried away.
To be honest, I didn't know what to expect. Ugandans seem to have this way of being completely convincing when it comes to agreeing with the gospel and what we have to say-- but their agreement is often half-hearted and stemming from their desire to please us foreigners (true for most third world countries, I think). But Irene and her extremely genuine testimony stayed stuck in my mind that entire weekend.. and in my gut, I felt like she would really come! Sunday morning rolls around and I remember nervously scanning the crowd and being really disappointed when I couldn't find her. I figured she had forgotten. I felt really dejected and sad and was also slightly annoyed at God for giving me that hope (silly silly me). However, after service, one of my Ugandan friends (who had met Irene with us) excitedly ran up to me and yelled "she's here!!" and at first, I was like.. what the heck, who? loll.. but then I saw her! She was sitting in the church office and she absolutely beamed when she saw us. She apologized for being late and said that she had been thinking about our visit too and had planned on making it to service but was late because she had difficulty getting to the church (especially since she was so pregnant). I remember being soooo excited and happy that entire day, like I had just reconnected with an old friend and we were able to talk some more. I told her that we were going to leave Gulu in a few days but that I would love for her to connect with the people at that church and have them be her support when we leave. She promised me that she'd try and once again, time cut our talk short and I had to leave. I left her to the care of my friend Moses and we said our goodbyes and I left.
Back at our place I remember feeling slightly anxious and wishing I could have done more for her before we had to leave so I sat down and wrote her a letter. I reminded her that she was loved and that I had been unbelievably blessed by her during my time in Gulu. I wished her a safe and successful birth and that she would continue to find community at church. I ended the letter by leaving my email address and told her that I hoped to meet again one day and that she and her future baby would be in my prayers. I also packed the one "nice blouse" I brought but hadn't worn (it was for church services-- Ugandans take the idea of "Sunday best" verrry seriously) and wrapped them together and gave them to Moses to pass on to Irene. I know it was a really lame gift.. a last minute letter and a second hand shirt.. but I wanted to leave SOMETHING, ANYTHING for Irene. I had no idea if the package would actually end up in Irene's hands or if Moses wouldn't be able to meet her but I left feeling a better sense of closure.
Fast forward a few months and I'm back from Uganda, adjusting to school again. I received a chat from my friend Moses on Facebook saying that Irene had come out to their church again and that he was able to pass along my gift! He also passed on a message from her saying that she missed us very much and hoped we arrived back to the states safely. A few days later, I received this email from her:
I excitedly responded, updating her about life back in the States and asking about her baby and all these things but I think there was an issue with her email or something because she didn't respond and later Moses told me that she had not received my email. But I managed to keep up with her life via Moses and my other friends at Gulu Bible Community Church and heard about her beautiful baby boy. I probably kept in touch until the next summer but slowly, as the memories became more distant, I'll admit, it went from praying for her once in a while, to not at all. I didn't hear from her for a year or so.
Soo, when I got her email last Sunday, I was surprised and ecstatic! She just reached out saying that she still thought about me and that she hoped all was well. Wow, so humbling. Here I was, completely forgetting my promise to pray for her, yet she reached out first to say that she was still thinking about and praying for me.
A few things:
- What an honor that God would show me how our labor in the missions field yields fruit that is both a blessing to me and people like Irene.
- What a blessing that God would remind me of my heart for Uganda during a season where I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with my life.
- What a joy that I have a sister like Irene in Uganda praying for me.
I am seriously so in awe of God and the way He works in peoples' hearts. Seriously, we are just little pieces (blessed to be used) in his big picture, just humble laborers in his expansive harvest. And even though we are stupid and forgetful and not always on top of it, God is the one who nurtures those seeds into trees that bear fruit! He used stupid me, my lame letter, and old shirt and made so much more!!
Here's an appropriate verse that Paul says to the church of Corinth regarding his role:
"For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power"- 1Corinthians 1:17
Hopefully we can be like Paul, humbly living out the gospel, being a part of his Great Commission, and, most importantly, being diligent sowers. We are so blessed to receive!
1 comment:
this is so uplifting!
<3
i miss you
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