lately

i have probably (definitely) titled another blog with this same title.. but, life is moving quickly so i am going to (rightly) assume that you all have forgotten or (more likely) not read it!

it's hard to believe i've already been on summer vacation for almost two months now.. what have i been doing anyway? so many people have asked and i really have nothing to tell them. well, i guess now i can say "oh yea, i have summer school.. it sucks.." orr "i'm preparing for missions!" but till two weeks ago, i was literally vegetating at home.

i just went through some of my old blogs and was shocked at how optimistic and encouraging i once was. it seems like forever ago that i had just entered USC and was fresh and gungho about everything (oh naivety). though it's only been 2 years, i feel like i've aged so much. i've grown weary and tired of the little things, forgetting what it's like to just appreciate. i miss having such genuine faith and trust in God. though i can't deny that i've grown a lot over my few years in college, i feel like i've also backpedaled a little in my faith and i'm not sure why it is! IT'S SO FRUSTRATING. 
it's also ridiculous how many external factors have changed. friends came in and out of my life, i had increased interest in some things and decreased interest in others, i joined a non-profit organization as an intern and somehow wound up as a leader, and (this one is probably the most drastic to me) i left the church that i had poured blood sweat and tears in for 15 years. wowee. an expected event in life but shocking nonetheless.
[sidenote: i always talk about this.. it never ceases to amaze me, i guess?]


you know what i think is really cool?? the human brain. i mean, the thing is so bizzarre and amazing. how am i sitting here right now, thinking in my head and moving my fingers in a way that i can formulate words? also, who ever decided that this word "who" would sound/ be spelled/ look the way it does anyway?? (that probably has less to do with the brain and more to do with history and etymology) but how does the brain just LEARN to put a bunch of symbols together to make words and get MEANING out of it? when did the brain ever learn the standards for beauty or genius? who ever established that a color would look a certain way and be perceived by the brain another way? i mean my questions could go on for DAYS. i wish i were better at science so i could study neuroscience but, i guess i can stick with the psychology aspect of communication, lol. 


ohh also! my summer school classes, though easy, are actually somewhat interesting! what a great combo. the literature class im taking is whatevz buut im excited to read all those books in two months! and then im taking a sociology class called "social problems". definitely not a morale booster or the type of class that'll nurture hope for humanity buut very interesting and enlightening, fasho. and lastly, i am taking a child development class, which is essentially like parenting class mixed with sociology and psychology.. though my classmates all seem to be parents and the class is pretty dang rando, i feel like im learning a lot about being a (future) parent as well as learning to appreciate my own. soo yea, not too bad! i just hate that they're back to back.. and from 8am- 3pm.. DILIGENCE! DISCIPLINE! RAH RAH!

okay, i am going to wrap up here because this is turning into nonsensical mush. i was never good at ending/ closing/ concluding any thoughts so... i will just leave you all with this.. ENJOY: