i dont know how i got to thinking about such a morbid subject.. but i randomly started wondering how i'd feel if i found out i was going to die tomorrow.
instantly my mind was flooded with thoughts like “that’d suck cus.. i wont ever get to be married.. i wont have a wedding.. i wont have kids.. i wont be able to experience having a job.. i wont be able to witness the crazy changes in our world” as well as “what’ll happen to my family? will they miss me? i wont ever know who my future husband is.. my children will never be born” etc etc.
to be honest, those thoughts still worry me. but i constantly have to rebuke myself and try to pry myself away from the world and turn myself to God only. what good are all those things in comparison to eternal life with God anyway? the little whiney middle child in my head would answer “well everyone ELSE gets to experience that.. its not fair” but thats just the little whiney middle child in my head, ignore her.
it’s pretty crazy how fragile our lives are. they’re like beautiful glass objects suspended on thin strings, swaying w every movement and so so vulnerable to everything around it. who says we even have a tomorrow? i could die in my sleep tonight, die in a freak accident tomorrow.
assess your life. what influences your actions?
the world says: you never know what’ll happen so seize the day!! “carpe diem!” (honestly, that word is such a fad. omgg latin! im so cool and like spontaneous! yes, i was guilty of falling into this fad). the world says go crazy while you can. get shwasted everyday! who cares! rob a bank! stand on your table once in a while!
now think: what the hell do these achieve? yea, you’ll have fun. then you die. and… ? sure, atheists will say “who cares what happens after! have fun in the present! yeee” but if your life= AT MOST 100some years and after= eternity, lets be real. what do you weigh more heavily?
God says: you never know what'll happen so always be ready for judgement. when i die what'll i have to show God? that i got shwasted? that i robbed a bank? yea, he'd be real proud. we need to be living every day wanting to impress God by being more like Him. hoping he'll be pleased with what he sees. THEN, we get the ultimate reward. one that surpasses everything you think you'll miss. one that surpasses the things of this world.
that prize= eternal life w God. whoa.
2 comments:
i really really REALLY like this michelle (like all your posts)
but this has been on my mind lately too--so it's insane how God uses you in my life in so many amazingly different ways! i am always thankful for you bai :)))
dude crazy love was all about this
(hahaha I talk about that book sooo much, I guess it made a pretty big impact...)
awesome post though, glad you're writing again after mass papers throughout the school year
but more than that, I am glad you're growing and God is teaching you more and more
keep striving!
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